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Aurora Divorce and Family Law Mediation Attorney

Divorce and Family Law mediation is about you and your soon to be ex-spouse or partner, mutually deciding on what is best for the both of you and most importantly, your children. In mediation, you and your spouse or partner will meet with a neutral third party, the mediator, and with their help, you work through the issues you need to resolve so the two of you can end your marriage/relationship as amicably and cost effective as possible. The issues covered may include but is not limited to the following:

1. Distribution of Property (Assets/Liabilities)

2. Child Parenting Time

3. Child Decision Making Authority

4. Extra-Curricular Activities

5. Day Care and School Expenses

Understanding Mediation:

In mediation, the couple either voluntarily agree to meet with the mediator or they are Court ordered to do so. The purpose of the meeting with the mediator is to work out solutions to various family and divorce issues. Assuming that the parties are motivated to reach a settlement, mediation sessions can be highly productive. In other instances where parties are not agreeagble at all, mediation sessions can take a considerable amount of time and work. When the parties are at in impasse on certain issues, the mediator can offer options and possible solutions to break the impasse. It is the mediators job to keep the lines of communication open, offer ideas, challenge the couple into choosing what is right for their child rather than what is right for themselves, and to provide each party with an understanding of their opposing positions. All of these tools can be used to assist the couple in their decision making process and hopefully result in a voluntary agreement. Mediators also help keep the couple focused on the issues, and ensure that the "ground rules" are not violated when trying to achieve a fair and voluntary agreement. "Ground Rules" are to respect the opposing party, not interrupt them when they are speaking and the mediator may have to intervene if he/she feels that there is some impediment to mediation. Mediation is intended to be a productive session and not an opportunity to disparage the opposing party.

Mediation is flexible and confidential. It gives you and your spouse a way to settle the conflict between you in a way that helps you to work together as parents. This is extremely important if you have children and must interact with your ex-spouse after you are divorced or separated. Mediation brings about communication between the couple, and provides an opportunity to lay down "ground rules" which can then be incorporated into a Court Order. These Court Orders provide children with stability as it will prevent future conflicts from arising so long as they have been discussed and resolved in mediation. A lack of communication or misunderstanding are the main reasons for conflict. Mediation is a type of Alternative Dispute Resolution that seeks to neutralize the conflict by teaching the couple to communicate effectively.

A divorce mediator is neutral and is prohibited from providing legal advice to either party. Further, the mediator must set aside their own personal feelings about the particular case and must focus on trying to achieve a resolution that is independent from their own personal beliefs. If a mediator cannot set aside his/her personal beliefs in a case and cannot remain neutral, the mediator must recuse themselves from further mediation.

Mediators provide a forum in which the parties can openly vent and express themselves and explain their positions whether they are right or wrong. The mediator cannot take sides, but can try to understand why a party has taken a particular position. This provides for better communication and an understanding of the issues and problems and can potentially give the parties an opportunity to come up with solutions on their own. In some situations, it is better for the mediator to "back-off" and let the parties openly discuss the issues amongst themselves and the mediator should only intervene when it is absolutely necessary.

Finally, mediation although it may be court ordered, is voluntary. Any participant in a mediation session can decide to stop the session at any time for any reason. Essentially, you are not forced to participate in mediation sessions and should feel comfortable during the mediation session while you are participating. Mediation sessions can be conducted on only one occasion or multiple occasions depending on how many issues need to be resolved and the complexity of the issues. Ultimately, if the parties can agree outside of court to resolve their issues, they will save a considerable amount of time and money in not engaging in unneccesary and expensive litigation..

Contact an Aurora Divorce and Family Law Mediator

If you are ordered to to mediation or voluntarily seek a mediator to resolve your issues, you will need a creative mediator that can help resolve your issues while ensuring a safe environment with specific ground rules to ensure your safety and productive mediation sesssion. As a practicing divorce attorney and guardian ad litem for the past ten years, I have a significant amount of experience in family law and divorce matters. I am hopeful I can provide you with mulitiple options to resolve your issues and to keep the parties focused on working out a favorable resolution for all parties and specifically the children involved. Pease call my office today if you are in need of an experienced and skilled Divorce and Family Law Mediator.

Contact an Aurora Divorce and Family Law Mediator

to help resolve your complex issues today.


The Law Offices of David Lee is available in Kane, Kendall, Dupage and Dekalb Counties

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